


bishops knife trick

by Anonymous



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Private School, Running Away, i wrote this for me but you can read it if you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 22:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19733083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: bad things happen at ryan's home when they leave for break. brendon wants to help.





	bishops knife trick

**Author's Note:**

> ive been listening to nothing but bishops knife trick for like an hour and im going thru some shit so here is the product of that. i dont even ship them im just coping

You can see the city glowing from the rooftop. The buildings stretching like they want to touch the sky, tainted by the neons that cover up the stars, watering down the darkness. It was still beautiful, in a way.

Ryan and Brendon are…silent. Dead silent, which is unusual. Most of the time, there’s bickering, jokes sparkling from some stupid rivalry-friendship they’ve built up over the months together, living on the same dorm floor.

It was an odd relationship. Spencer introduced them to each other, and they sort of got close, sort of didn’t. Ryan wasn’t very easy to read, Brendon noticed, and months before, he really wouldn’t have guessed that they would grow so strangely close. Ryan didn’t seem like the sort of person who would open up to Brendon.

Yet it happened. How, he didn’t really now. But did it matter now? No, not really.

There’s smoke on the air, blown out of Ryan’s lips. His chest falls as he exhales it out, and then presses the cigarette against the floor. Brendon holds his breath.

“So, what are we…doing about it?” He says, dumbly. Ryan’s gaze slides over to him, the cool nightly wind blowing softly over his hair. It’s chilly. Ryan is missing a jacket.

“We’re here to figure it out, aren’t we?” He rolls his eyes, and it would seem mean, but Brendon knew better “And also just brood, I guess.”

“Right. Brood.” He repeats to himself, and goes silent again.

The concrete of the rooftop floor is rough underneath his jeans. It’s very cool to the touch. This night feels too cold.

Ryan brings his knees together, hugging them. He’s still so blank faced, Brendon can’t comprehend it. He looks so put together, despite everything.

Everything…it was like everything had happened during that break. They left that private school for a while, and somehow, everything went wrong.

Brendon could feel the pang on his chest, even if he didn’t know the full story. He just knows that Ryan came back to school disheveled, with rings of purple around his eyes, and visible layers of makeup covering up his face. The second his eyes met Ryan’s, he knew something was wrong.

They don’t speak. And then, tonight, Ryan shows up on Brendon’s dorm.

“Rooftop” Is the only explanation he offers. Brendon gladly accepts it.

He lights a cigarette shakily and explains vaguely. Something had gone horribly, terribly wrong back at his home. Ryan didn’t give him any details, but even with the darkness of the night, Brendon could see painful blues underneath the faded makeup on his cheeks.

And his stomach dropped.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” He offers, cautiously, nervously “I-I mean, if you don’t want to, it’s alright. No pressure. I just want to do something to help, I guess, because I feel like I should do something, but I—”

A hand is pressed against his lips. He instantly shuts it.

“Brendon. Please.” Ryan warns “I don’t want to even think about it. I’m smoking, for fucks sake. I’m not having a good time now, okay?”

Brendon wants to say something, but Ryan’s hand is still there. Still there, and somehow he doesn’t really want him to remove it.

Ryan stares right through him, and releases a frustrated sigh.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do about it” He then says, removing the hand. It leaves _something_ on Brendon’s skin, a faint, faint warm sensation where his fingers met his face “If I go back home, I’m fucked. I don’t know for how much longer I can stay here, either. I might as well just die.” He laughs dryly.

“Ryan…”

“I should’ve known better.” Ryan mutters “Took it too lightly. No one could have ever found out.”

Brendon has the feeling he wasn’t supposed to hear any of that. Maybe he really wasn’t. But does it really even matter.

“Actually, I should go now. I don’t even know why I—”

He’s getting up to leave. He’s getting up to leave. Brendon’s eyes go wide, and it’s like he has no control over his body. His heart skyrockets.

“Brendon—”

His hand had grabbed Ryan’s arm. He notices his eyes starts to look glassy, almost if he was holding back tears.

Something. He had to say something. Anything.

“I want to help you.” He chokes out. It’s so hard getting it out of his throat, but after the lid is open, the words don’t stop pouring out “I’m not gonna ask you to tell me everything about it, but I want to help you. I care so much about you, I really do.”

“Brendon…”

One step closer. His grip on Ryan’s arm is growing gentler. Ryan himself releases a shuddery breath, head tilting down, looking into the floor, avoiding Brendon’s eyes. He gulps.

It’s like there’s something in the air.

“I don’t have anywhere to go” Is all Ryan says. His voice is so weak, he might as well shatter into a million pieces “Not a place to stay. No one— No one would accept me. No one _should_ accept me…”

“I accept you”

It happens like a blink. His hands go up to Ryan’s neck, and for what was pretty much half a second, he feels him shiver, his warm skin coming to contact with Brendon’s now clammy hands.

And he closes in for the kiss.

It doesn’t make sense, just as it should. Ryan leans into it so easily, like he needed the touch, the affection, and their lips are against each other, and it’s deepening, and it’s like there are the beats of a song echoing around them, just for them.

They pull away, breathless. Tears have gone down Ryan’s eyes, that still look glassy. His hands are on Brendon’s waist, holding onto his shirt like it’s the thread keeping him on his world.

“Run away with me.” Is what Brendon says without thinking “We’re both 18. Let’s get all of our things and get in my car and get the hell out of here.”

“You don’t have to do this for me” Ryan whispers. Brendon shakes his head.

“It’s for you too, but I also want to get out of here” He replies “If you’re leaving this school, there’s nothing keeping me here anymore.”

He doesn’t know where the words come from. He doesn’t know where they go, only that they might have died down on Ryan’s tongue, when their lips meet one more time and they hold onto each other like there’s nothing else on the world.

It spins around them, soaked up in the city’s glow, in the melancholy of the night air.

He feels Ryan melt against him.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know what to say about this? id apologize for ooc but lets be real theres no way to be accurate when it comes to writing about real people


End file.
